In September I gave birth to my second dear daughter, Ky-Ky. While I was pregnant woman, I was nervous. Would I be able to juggle life with a new baby and a 5 year old? Would my homemaker duties suffer? Would my oldest think I don't love her enough with a new baby stealing so much attention? Would I be overwhelmed and curl into a fetal position and hide in the closet watching eagles? (Name the movie! Video at the bottom if you give up!)
I must admit, I think having two children has helped. I feel more focused. My days are spent with my dollies, my house is cleaner, we eat more dinners at home, heck we do preschool on a regular basis! When I posted this on my mom's group on Facebook (Are you part of one of these? OMG They are my GIRLS man! I love seeing their posts and there are days where everyone just needs to vent and these ladies get me!) some of the ladies asked for tips - so here you go.
What's changed:
1) Humility. I was on bedrest for almost 4 months. During that time I had to humble myself and ask for help. I'm not supermom, never have been, but asking for help allowed me to...
2) Balance. My cousin-in-law whom I love dearly came over on a daily basis and whipped my house into shape. Now I don't know if its because she's worked hospitality at some major hotels, or if she has a certain level of OCD (Love you sweetie!) or what, but I have never had my house be and stay as clean as that. She was at our house for only a few hours a day, and most of that was spent with me and my first daughter, not cleaning-cuz it was done! She'd done it! I watched her balance and learned quite a bit. And I realized that I have never been able to find that balance myself. Now I love my mom and my MIL who have both helped me out, and I learned how to clean from my mom, but for some reason seeing Ari do it I learned it.
3) Accountability. I gave myself too much slack. I used to always whine about how awful I was for not doing stuff...instead of doing it (makes sense right?) Now if I catch myself thinking "wow I'm such a slacker." I make sure to stop slacking and set myself a mini goal. I hold myself to an end goal and its made me happier.
4) Happiness. I didn't realize that I could be happy without a lot of down time. This too came from my 4 months of bedrest. There is a LOT of time for self-reflection when you can't do anything! I always thought I was happiest when I was playing video games or watching TV or out shopping and going to festivals. But I have realized that I can be just as happy by taking pride in what I own, by organizing the house and keeping it clean, by playing with my dollies and watching a Disney movie.
5) Acceptance. Allowing myself to say enough is enough. I have always berated myself, I've never been "enough". For some reason this aforementioned movie struck home and made it 100% clear to me, maybe it was because I felt so like Ally so much of the time. This scene is incredible, whether you believe in God or not, and sums up much of what I have been trying to live by recently.
6) Inspiration. Dozens of things have inspired me, my two dollies do, absolutely. My husband, my cousin, my parent's, my in-laws. Media too: Mom's Night Out, a book called "The Gabriel Method" which oddly enough is about weight loss but has inspired me in hundreds of other ways, The 5 Love Languages...
In the end...well there is no end. That's something I continually am trying to accept. Every day is a journey. Some days I'm awesome at following these changes in my life, and some days I find myself regressing. But I'm changing. I'm learning and accepting myself. So if you're planning on making a long, or at least grueling, New Year's resolution, remember that "It always seems impossible until it's done."
~~~~~
The movie: Mom's Night Out
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